Subjects: "Winter blow out sale" and "Wanna get laid tonight? You can" (Spam)

emmett fitzpatrick4t wrote:

Url : www.bostos. com ,gosh I did space. Enjoy!

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Usually I take the urls out of these things, but because this one was so adorable in addition to the fact that it's apparently not even a real website, I decided to let this one slide. You can thank me later, emmett.

I actually kind of wonder what a winter blow out sale is all about. I pretty well know what a blowout sale is, but this is clearly a blow out sale. Maybe it's all about getting the dust out of your old NES cartridges? Or perhaps it's about this 1981 thriller, a John Travolta/John Lithgow vehicle directed by a pre-Scarface Brian De Palma?



I bet that's what it is.

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Patty wrote:

Offering a service that helps people get laid!
A bunch of sex-o-holics are all around you, craving to get laid!

No lame pickup lines, no flowers, no gifts,
people here only care about sex ;)

Oh, just to let you know, a little over 65% of members have already
gotten laid!

(THIS URL ACTUALLY DID WORK. -MW)

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Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait just a minute here. There are sex-o-holics all around me? Craving to get laid? How closely are they located? Do they drip? I'm actually looking all around me here, and all I can see are some dirty socks. Is that what you mean by "sex-o-holics?" Because if it is, your and my definitions of those words are pretty different. In my world, a sex-o-holic is an alcoholic who hangs out around a number of pathetically desperate people.

But enough semantics.

To be honest, I'm not too terribly sure I want to hang out with a bunch of people who only care about sex. I mean, sure, it may be fun for a little while, but who will read my unfinished novel about a hotshot attorney who, through an unusual turn of events, adopts a baby dolphin and has to raise him as if it was his own? Is there a group I can join for that? People only interested in reading In Res Mammalis: A Story of Humanity? Because it seems like there are a lot fewer people interested in that than in sex. I mean, I get e-mail offers for sex like every other day.

Speaking of which, only 65 percent? Seriously? You're a company that exists for the sole purpose of providing people with getting laid and only about two-thirds of your members have actually done it? That's like a restuarant saying that only a fraction of their customers actually eat.

Wouldn't it be better just to say that two-thirds of your customers had been satisfied? You wouldn't even have to lie for that. Next time, you guys oughta let me write your crappy sex club e-mail.

No, seriously, let me do it. I need the work.

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Have you actually seen the movie Blow Out? Are you a sex-o-holic who can help me out with a definition? Hit me up with an e-mail or head on over to the message board!